I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize