oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
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