Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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