I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
