"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
