actually, I'm a sock model
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
