White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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