We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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