are you still at the devil's house?
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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