i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
