I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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