i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
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hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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