Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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