Just cropdusted the office
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
