oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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