Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
