have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
