i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Randomize
