I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
