Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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