Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
