I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Holy sore nipples Batman
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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