OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Randomize
