did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Randomize
