I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Randomize
