i jhust puked up my retainher.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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