Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
