I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
