i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
