Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
