D3 body, D1 cock
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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