I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
