Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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