Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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