who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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