Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
