uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
