who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
