I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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