I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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