I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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