hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
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