i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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