dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
