you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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