And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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