He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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