Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize