So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
