That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
