The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
