Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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