A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Farmville is her only friend.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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