If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Randomize
