me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
