It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
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