But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
