mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
