You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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